Jealousy and Envy

Jealousy and Envy I think it would be safe to say we have all been here one time or another. What do you do when your jealousy takes over you, and drives you to do deceitful things? Maybe you’re the type of person that can’t stand to see someone get on their feet, because you think they may out shine you. Maybe you’re the type that takes cheap shots at a person’s faults, not remembering we all have some things we need to work on. Maybe you’re the type that watches everything that a person does, and says waiting for your moment to take their ideas or their style, and use it as your own. Maybe you’re the type that can see a person doing well, but you just can’t bring yourself to be happy for them. Let’s look at it from the other side. What do you do when you’re on the receiving end to someone else’s envy of you? How many times should you talk to this person about their behavior, for them to act like they have no idea what you’re talking about? What if it’s someone that is supposed to be close to you, like a sibling or a close friend? What do you do? While this is not professional advice, more of my opinion based of my own life experiences, dealing with jealousy and envy. Here's a check list that I use when I am dealing with some difficult situations. Check list: Why do I feel this way towards this person? Was this part of my upbringing? Am I truly loving myself? Am I happy with the person I am becoming? Why do I allow this person to stay in my life? Is having this relationship bringing me joy? Is this person an energy drainer? Do I confront them again, or just let them go? Writing down the answers to these questions on this check list should help give you some clarity, as to why we allow these behaviors to take place in our lives. I think as parents we sometimes don’t realize, how our behaviors effect our children’s behaviors. Our children watch everything we say and do, it’s a part of the learning process. Even as adults we may get angry, and yell at our little ones, out comes the words of your parents. That’s when you stop and say oh my, I sound just like my mother or father. We have all done it. When children head off to school they are placed with many other children with different values and some are not always good ones. Your child must deal with envy and jealously issues, no matter if its them causing it or if they are on the receiving end. It’s all a part of growing and being in society, helping them to deal with these issues can make the difference for success. Your child will use the lessons you have taught them, whether you sat down and gave them a verbal lesson or they have learned just by watching you deal with different situations that has occurred in your own life. When faced with jealously and envy, how do you think your child will respond to it? Think about how you have responded to it, when its shown its ugliness in your life? Did you handle it well? Here is something that has helped me deal with jealousy and envy that has shown its unwelcomed raft in my life. First, I went over my check list, then I remembered that I am special, no one can be me. I am one of a kind, the creator designed me for a special purpose on this earth and no one else can do it, but me. Even if someone takes an idea of mine, uses it as their own without given me credit it’s ok. That type of stuff doesn’t anger me, because it is a validation that I am doing great and on the right path. No one wants to be like you if they didn’t think you are amazing. Really, people do not get jealous over something that isn’t worth anything. That is the lesson we must teach our little ones. They are special and should be happy for others. We all will have our time to do amazing things in our lives, and unfortunately not everyone will be happy for us. When someone is jealous of you, and does something not of good character it’s, because they are not happy with themselves. Maybe they feel like a failure in their lives, lots of time they see the beauty in you and just wish they could have it for themselves. Instead of getting angry or feeling hurt, by their actions it’s best to not feed into that behavior. Keep your distance, continue being you, with the people that are happy for you, who contribute to your success, and happiness. Be there to listen to your child needs, don’t focus too much on why the other person is trying to get a reaction out of your child. Rather focus more on teaching your child their response to it is what’s most important. They shouldn’t allow anyone’s ill thoughts and actions to determine how they will act. Teach them they should continue to shine and focus on being the best them they could be.